The popular BBC drama The Split (Episode 3 of Series 3) introduced the subject of nesting arrangements for separated families. This blog asks why nesting arrangements sometimes do not work.
In previous article I explained what ‘bird nesting’ often known as ‘nesting’ arrangements are and the pros and cons of them.
What are ‘nesting agreements’
‘Nesting agreements’ are agreements which some separated parents enter into which enable the children of the relationship to remain living in their home with the parents ‘nesting’ – moving in and out of the property at separate times to care for them.
Why some nesting agreements don’t work
Episode 3, Series 3 of the BBC drama, The Split, showed viewers why nesting arrangements sometimes don’t work.
An important part of any nesting arrangement is being able to communicate with your former partner and agree the terms of any ‘nesting arrangement’ between yourselves.
There appeared to be no communication nor agreement reached between the parents, which resulted in the Father bringing his new partner to the former matrimonial home and her being involved in preparing the evening meal (the food for that meal being delivered to the house beforehand) and her staying the night.
This had clearly not been agreed by the Mother and upset her. As the terms of the nesting agreement did not appear to have been clearly set out, there were issues with the children who did not want to feel that their Mother had been replaced by the Father’s new partner.
This was brought to a head when the children were told that the Father’s new partner was pregnant with his child, which was something the Mother had expressed to the Father should not be shared with them at this stage.
The Split showed why a ‘nesting arrangement’ sometimes doesn’t work, but they can work in certain cases. Every case is different and we always suggest that independent advice is sought before entering into such agreement to find out if it is likely to work for you and more importantly, benefit your children.
If you require any advice or assistance in relation to bird nesting arrangements, please do not hesitate to contact us. Our Children team can provide specialist advice on whether such an agreement will work for you and more importantly for your children.