For many separated parents, school holidays can become one of the biggest sources of conflict. Whilst term-time arrangements may be working well, disagreements often arise when it comes to summer holidays, trips abroad, Christmas, birthdays and other important occasions.
Questions such as “Can I take my child on holiday without the other parent’s permission?” or “What if my ex has booked a holiday during my time?” are among the most common issues family lawyers encounter.
The good news is that many disputes can be resolved through careful planning and early communication. However, where agreement is not possible, legal options are available.
There is no Automatic Formula
One of the biggest misconceptions is that school holidays must always be split equally between parents.
In reality, there is no legal rule requiring a 50/50 division of holidays. Every family is different and arrangements should be tailored to the individual needs of the child.
Factors which may influence holiday arrangements include:
- The child’s age and routine;
- The distance between each parent’s home;
- Parents’ work commitments;
- Existing Child Arrangements Orders;
- Relationships with extended family members;
- The child’s wishes and feelings, depending upon their age and understanding; and
- Any specific educational, emotional or health needs.
If a dispute reaches court, the child’s welfare will always be the court’s paramount consideration pursuant to the Children Act 1989.
How are School Holidays Usually Shared?
There is no “one size fits all” arrangement when it comes to school holidays after separation. Every family is different, and the most suitable arrangements will depend on the child’s needs, routines and family circumstances.
Some families choose to split holidays equally, particularly during longer breaks such as Easter and the summer holidays. Others prefer to alternate holiday periods from year to year, providing both parents with opportunities to spend quality time with their children and make holiday plans in advance.
The summer holidays often require the most careful planning. Parents may alternate weeks, divide the holiday into larger blocks, or agree arrangements that reflect work commitments and childcare responsibilities. Christmas and other special occasions can also be shared in a variety of ways, whether by alternating each year or dividing the festive period so that children spend time with both parents.
Many parents also make separate arrangements for birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, religious celebrations and important family events.
Whatever approach is taken, the most successful arrangements are usually those agreed well in advance, communicated clearly, and focused on the child’s needs. Providing children with certainty about where they will be spending their time can help reduce anxiety and ensure they are able to enjoy their holidays with both sides of their family.
Christmas, Birthdays and other Special Days
Some occasions can be particularly emotional following a separation. Parents commonly disagree about:
- Christmas Day;
- Boxing Day;
- New Year celebrations;
- Birthdays;
- Mother’s Day;
- Father’s Day;
- Religious festivals; and
- Significant family events.
These occasions often hold special meaning not only for parents, but also for children and the wider family. Grandparents, siblings and extended family members may have established traditions that parents wish to preserve, which can sometimes make reaching agreement more challenging.
There is no right or wrong way to share special occasions. Some parents choose to alternate Christmas and New Year each year, whilst others divide the festive period so that children can spend time with both parents. Birthdays may be shared, celebrated separately, or alternated depending on what works best for the family. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are often spent with the relevant parent regardless of the usual arrangements.
Where possible, focusing on the child’s experience rather than competing parental expectations can help create arrangements that are enjoyable and memorable for everyone involved. Children generally benefit from being able to maintain meaningful relationships and traditions with both sides of their family.
Many families find that alternating certain special occasions each year provides a fair and practical solution. However, a degree of flexibility can also be valuable, particularly as children grow older and their own wishes, social commitments and family relationships evolve.
Can I Take my Child Abroad Without the Other Parent’s Permission?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions asked by separated parents.
Many parents assume that having parental responsibility automatically allows them to take a child abroad. However, this is not always the case. In most circumstances, you must obtain the consent of everyone who has parental responsibility for the child before taking them outside of the United Kingdom. Taking a child abroad without the necessary consent could amount to child abduction.
There is an important exception. Where there is a Child Arrangements Order which states that a child “lives with” a parent, that parent can generally take the child abroad for up to 28 days without obtaining the consent of the other parent, unless the order specifically restricts foreign travel or there is another court order preventing it.
Even where consent is not strictly required, it is often sensible to inform the other parent of the proposed travel arrangements and provide details of the trip. Doing so can help to maintain trust, minimise disagreements and avoid unnecessary disputes.
If permission is required but cannot be obtained, it may be necessary to apply to the Family Court for a Specific Issue Order seeking permission to travel. When determining such an application, the court will consider whether the proposed trip is in the child’s best interests, having regard to their welfare as the paramount consideration.
Given the potential legal consequences of travelling without the necessary consent, parents should seek specialist legal advice before making travel arrangements where there is any uncertainty.
What Happens if you Cannot Agree?
Unfortunately, some parents find that discussions repeatedly break down.
Where this happens, mediation can often provide a constructive forum for reaching agreement without the stress, delay and expense of court proceedings.
If agreement remains impossible, an application to the Family Court may be necessary.
The court can determine arrangements through a Child Arrangements Order and make decisions regarding specific holiday issues where required. In making those decisions, the court will focus on what arrangement best promotes the child’s welfare.
Five Tips for Avoiding School Holiday Disputes
- Discuss holiday arrangements as early as possible.
- Confirm agreements in writing.
- Share travel details promptly.
- Remain flexible where reasonable.
- Focus on what is best for the child rather than what is most convenient for either parent.
A little planning can often prevent a great deal of conflict.
How Stephens Scown can Help
Disputes regarding school holidays can quickly become stressful and emotionally charged. Whether you are trying to agree arrangements, facing difficulties over foreign travel, or require advice about a Child Arrangements Order, obtaining specialist legal advice at an early stage can make a significant difference.
Our specialist Family Law team regularly advises parents on:
- School holiday arrangements;
- Child Arrangements Orders;
- International travel disputes;
- Specific Issue Orders;
- Enforcement applications; and
- Mediation and negotiated settlements.
If you are experiencing difficulties agreeing arrangements for your children, our team is here to help.
Christmas Holidays
Christmas (and/or other significant religious holidays) can cause some of the most complicated and emotional disputes between parents. For that reason, we have omitted it from this article. You can read about Christmas holidays here.
Please reach out to our Family team if you require help, or complete the form below.