Separation can be a challenging and emotional time for families. Having clear, practical guidance from the outset about arrangements for children can help parents make decisions that support their children’s wellbeing and reduce conflict.
Understanding your Child Arrangements Options and When Court may be Necessary
There are a number of different ways in which parents can seek to agree arrangements for their children after separation and there is no set pattern that needs to be put in place when it comes to child arrangements. Parents can consider attempting to agree arrangements between themselves, attending mediation and negotiation between solicitors among other options. A Court order is not always required where parents are able to agree arrangements between themselves.
If parents cannot agree on child arrangements following separation, it may be a case of making an application to Court for a child arrangements order. There is some more information setting out the basics in respect of child arrangements orders on our website. There is also some free information on GOV.UK regarding making child arrangements if you divorce or separate.
Obtaining legal advice at an early stage can help parents understand their options and avoid taking steps that may not be appropriate in their circumstances.
Create a Workable Parenting Plan that Puts Children First
When parents are adjusting to co-parenting after separation, a parenting plan can provide a helpful framework for future arrangements.
A parenting plan is essentially a document agreed between parents which sets out expectations, intentions and agreements in respect of how a child is going to be cared for following separation.
A parenting plan can include what the arrangements for a child are going to be such as the arrangements during termtime, school holidays and on special occasions. A parenting plan can also include expectations and agreements regarding day-to-day care and things like how long each parent will wait before bringing the child into contact with a new partner. Parenting plans are not legally binding, but it can be helpful to create a parenting plan to record an agreement reached or to assist in reaching an agreement.
Our previous article: What is a parenting plan? includes more examples of what can be covered in a parenting plan.
CAFCASS (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) have a link to a parenting plan (now referred to as a child’s plan by CAFCASS) on their website. This template can be downloaded for free from the CAFCASS website.
How much detail is included in the parenting plan will depend to an extent on the relationship between parents. If parents are amicable and there is a good line of communication between them, a more flexible agreement regarding child arrangements may work well, particularly if parents feel that they will be able to agree certain points as they go along. If communication is more difficult between parents after separation, it can be a good idea to make the parenting plan and the agreement reached in terms of arrangements for the child more detailed (and less flexible) to try to avoid disagreements going forward.
A parenting plan can of course be updated by agreement between the parents as the child gets older and circumstances change.
When it comes to child arrangements, agreements reached between parents outside of court are not legally binding and cannot be enforced. However, if an agreement can be reached and the arrangements are working well, parents may not need to involve the court at all.
Low‑Conflict Communication and Mediation Routes that Work
Emotion and tensions can understandably run high following separation and communication between parents may become more difficult. However, it is advisable to make communication regarding the child as diplomatic as possible. The tone and content of communication should also be considered carefully, and it can be sensible to delay responding to a message from the other parent slightly if it has evoked an emotional response. It is often helpful to take some time to think about your response and how it will be received by the other parent before sending it. It may be helpful to consider using a parenting app for communication with the other parent for co-parenting after separation as this can help to focus communication on the child’s needs and day-to-day arrangements rather than the challenges arising from the end of a relationship.
Our previous article: Co-Parenting Apps: How They Work and When They Can Help Separated Parents gives some more information on some of the different parenting apps that are available and how these can be helpful for positive communication and co-parenting.
Communication between solicitors may also help parents work towards an agreement on child arrangements without the need for court proceedings.
Parents could also consider other forms of non-Court dispute resolution such as mediation. Mediation may not be suitable in all cases such as where there are allegations of domestic abuse. However, even where there are concerns regarding domestic abuse it may still be possible to engage in non-direct forms of mediation if both parents are willing to do so, for example shuttle mediation (with the mediator going between rooms either in person or virtually) or solicitor assisted mediation.
There is some more information on alternatives to Court on our website, please click here.
Money Matters After Separation: Child Maintenance
Parents can agree child maintenance payments between themselves or go through the Child Maintenance Service. There is more information regarding the Child Maintenance Service on the GOV.UK website here. There is also a child maintenance calculator on the GOV.UK website that is free to use. Parents may wish to use this calculator to get an idea of how much child maintenance is payable even if they then agree payments between themselves. There is some information in our previous article: Child Maintenance – through the Court or CMS?.
Safeguarding and Urgent Support if Things go Wrong
It is particularly advisable to seek legal advice early on if you have safeguarding concerns regarding your child being in the other parent’s care. If you believe you or your child are at immediate risk of harm, you should also contact the police without delay. There is also the option of contacting the Local Authority. A solicitor can advise you on applications to Court for non-molestation orders and occupation orders as well as how to combine protection with practical child arrangements. There is some more information on non-molestation orders and occupation orders on our website, please click here: Domestic Abuse Solicitors | Professional Advice | Stephens Scown.
The child arrangements that will be appropriate will vary depending on the situation. In some cases, indirect contact such as phone calls or video calls between the child and the other parent can be considered. In other cases, professionally supervised contact at a Contact Centre might be considered. Every case is unique and legal advice can help navigate what may be appropriate in terms of contact.
Where unsupervised contact is taking place and there are concerns about direct interaction, parents may wish to consider arranging handovers in a public location with CCTV coverage, such as a supermarket car park. Third parties could also conduct handovers on behalf of one or both parents.
Separation can be a challenging time for both parents and children, but there are a range of resources and support services available to help families move forward positively. Whether you are discussing arrangements directly, creating a parenting plan, using mediation or seeking legal advice, keeping the focus on your child’s needs can help lay the foundations for successful co-parenting. Every family’s circumstances are different, and obtaining legal advice at an early stage can help you understand your options and make informed decisions for the future.
This article was written by Alexandra Pitts, solicitor in our Family Law team. If this is something you need advice on then please get in contact.