Business man looking confident

Re-discovering your self-esteem is vital for you to face the future with confidence.  A relationship breakdown can feel overwhelming, with the constant need to deal with practical issues, whilst trying to understand and come to terms with the complex array of emotions you may be experiencing. It’s not easy.

If the end of your relationship was against your wishes, you may feel particularly upset and your self-esteem may have taken a knock. You may start to lose confidence in the decisions and actions you take; become more reliant on others to make decisions for you; avoid facing new challenges that come your way or feel unworthy or “not good enough” of care or affection. You may even start to withdraw from life, preferring to huddle inside than go out and socialise.

Give yourself time

Your self-esteem is crucial for your well-being: to be confident in who you are; like who you are and know when you’re not getting your emotional needs met.

Little by little, it is possible to regain your self-esteem; to make sense of your feelings and take some control over your actions; to feel empowered by remembering that you are important, that you matter.

You can do this for yourself with some simple techniques:

  • Make time for self-care, doing something for yourself that you really enjoy.
  • Recognise what you are good at and focus on these things rather than your limitations.
  • Be kind to yourself particularly at times you are feeling self-critical. Think about what you would say to your best friend in this situation and tell yourself this.
  • Begin to build positive relationships by seeking out people who appreciate you and make you feel good about yourself.
  • Remember good feelings and times you have had, knowing you made them happen and can make them happen again.
  • Give yourself a challenge with realistic goals.
  • Accept compliments.

Talking can also help. Confiding in a trusted friend, family member, doctor or counsellor are all avenues that can help alleviate difficult feelings and enable you to find your way through the practical and emotional challenges that relationship breakdown can present.

For your ease in reaching out for support, Stephens Scown has partnered with counselling services in Devon and Cornwall to offer counselling for clients going through a difficult emotional journey. If you would like more information on the service provided, please do get in touch.